When I got married, I had never pondered over what my father said to me. “Well, you would realize when you sail in the same boat where I am now.”, he said. I could not feel the pangs of separation a father had to bear when his only issue parted from him and his better half was also no more to share and care for him.
Time passed and I stepped into the same boat on which my father had sailed. My children took to their own passions and aspirations and catered to their own world which was a little bit different from what I had thought of. But never had I bothered because I knew I cannot break the rules which are imposed on the parents in every generation. So I tried my level best to adjust myself to the changing circumstances and accepted the norms like solitary confinement with all the A1 gadgets to entertain you. The same thing had happened with my father. I provided each and every kind of gadget, books or objects which he liked, yet the void which was there in his world could never be filled up. He missed his partner who used to listen to him for years or sing for him for hours or get his favorite dress or accompany him wherever he visited. He craved for the company who would respect his ideas and follow his footsteps. I wished he could be free and frank to me but the ideas he cherished were always like a cynic who never yields to find out a solution and grumbles. Like a modern woman, I used to think why he could not accept the changing values where work is worship and where there is no room for idle gossip. However, he kept him busy with his books and his violin which was his most coveted companion. But a day came when time took its toll. His frail mortal body was not strong enough to fight any more and death with its horrible jaws crushed him to mere oblivion .When he was alive, I always felt I was chained with his presence as age had withered him and he could not move around like a normal person. I thought I was trapped in the dull moribund schedules and wished to get rid of the shackles like a prisoner. But today when everything is over and he has left me forever, I never can forgive me for the indifference I showed to his ideas.
Now I am sitting all alone in my son’s apartment and am eagerly waiting for his and my daughter-in-law’s return from their work so that I can talk to them or can describe each and every action of mine in this foreign land. My son and my daughter-in-law are very much caring and are always at my service .But the buy and sell syndrome sticks out at every phase and I cannot rule out the challenges they have to meet with .Life is stagnant without any rush and they are happy with the “Eat, drink and be merry” therapy. And I , like the oak tree which stands for ages, watch and watch and never retaliate because I had expected the same tolerance from my father which he had shown with full potential.